I am EMO

What is emo? It is short for emotional. Fourfa.com defined emo as a broad title that covers a lot of different styles of emotionally-charged punk rock. Wikepedia.com defined emo as a genre of music that originated from hardcore punk and later adopted pop punk influences when it became mainstream in the US.

History of emo was discussed in different variations but it has its common denominator that it started from hardcore. In mid 1980's it was defined as sub-genre of hardcore punk (Wikipedia). In the later years, the term emocore was used, short for emotional hardcore. Some of the bands in this genre are: One Last Wish, Embrace, Fire Party and Moss Icon. Popular bands today were described as emo although they are playing different style from the former emo bands. Most of them today are My Chemical Romance, Fall Out Boy, Alesana, Paramore, Saosin and our very own Typecast.

Emo is not only related to music but also with fashion. It is easily determined who emo's are. They are recognizable with skinny jeans, tight shirts, black Converse shoes or skate shoes such as Vans, and the hair is one-sided bangs covering one eye. Emo has gone through a lot of criticisms and is associated with suicide also. Wikepedia gives a lot of explanation of emo and how suicide is associated with this genre. Moreover, emo is used to define one experiencing great depression and prefers most of the time to be alone and spend it with hardcore music that explains how the person feels towards the situation.

Many have been expressing contradictions with emo. But like the many genres we have in the music industry, the bottomline is we have our own way of expression and that includes fashion, which comes along with our own way of attacking depression.

Emo continues its way to the mainstream influencing many. It has carved its genre with the music industry as well fashion. Moreover, its identity has kept its place in the music world.

Broken Sonnet

And now I concede on the night
Of this fifteenth song
Of melancholy, of melancholy
And now I will admit in this fourth line
That I love you, that i love you

I don't care what they say
I don't care what they do

Cause tonight I leave my fears behind
Cause tonight I'll be right at your side

The clock on the TV says 8:39 p.m.
It's the same, it's the same
And in this next line I'll say it all over again
That I love you, that i love you

I don't care what they say
I don't care what they do

Cause tonight I leave my fears behind
Cause tonight I'll be right at your side
Lie down right next to me
Lie down right next to me
And I will never let go, will never let go

I leave my fears behind
Cause tonight I'll be right at your side
Lie down right next to me
Lie down right next to me
And i will never let go, never let go

But still I see the tears from your eyes
Maybe I'm just not the one for you

I was listening to Hale's Broken Sonnet, one of my favorite songs. The theme of the song caught my attention and loved it. This was the first song Hale released and became one of the loved songs of the Pinoys. This song is self composed by Champ (vocals) together with the band. The lyrics is originally a sonnet they created but it was broken since a sonnet should be composed by 14 lines but this is 16. This where they got the title Broken Sonnet.

Loving someone is one great success of existence as human, for in loving you feel a lot of emotions, the happy, sad, disappointed, overwhelmed, and hurt. In loving you offer yourself, your whole self, and be the best person that you can be for the one you love. Of course loving is a give and take process; you love and you deserve to be loved. But sometimes in loving we forget ourselves that we feel pain. Sometimes its enough for us that we love more than what the person can do for you in return. In loving we risk. We fear of the pain but yet we still love. The pain make us numb of everything.

Pain, pain, pain, was it all worth? We feel hurt. The sad thing about it is that the person who hurt you is the same person that would make you happy. I don't care what they say, 'coz tonight I leave my fears behind. 'Cause tonight I'll be right at your side. Lie down right and I never let go. I love you.

It's all because of loving someone who could not love you in return. You took the risk, but is it worth risking for?

I've been in such. I took the risk and accepting the fact that he can never love me back the way I do and I can never have him. I loved him with all my heart. I showed love in the best way I can. He knew how much I love him. We've been together by a year and nine months. But still I see the tears from his eyes and maybe I'm not just the one for him. The pain I've been keeping for so long ended me deciding to let him go. I still love him that much though.


Its hard to let go when you mean please stay. But I have to save myself before time would come that I'll be losing myself. Courage they say. Letting go of the one you've been holding on. Really its hard. I miss him a lot.


I want to have him back it can never be.

Wilma

I was I guess 4 or 5 years old when I first met her. Me and my family are having vacation here in Albay before since we were living in Manila. After few years, we returned here for good. We've been good friends for long. She was my tita but we called ourselves cousins since were on the same age.

We went to the same elementary school and separated during high school. During secondary schooling we still seek to have time to talk and chat every afternoon. But whatever happens we always have the chance to see each other since our house house is just beside hers. College years came when we seldom saw each other. There would come a time that I haven't seen her in a month.

Year 2007 came. First quarter of the year, her father died. I remembered during her father's wake I was rushed to the hospital with her kuya carrying me on his arms to the tricycle. (Too much of my hospital emergency, it was just dysmenorrhea). Just on the same year, her mother passed away, leaving her, with her kuya, and younger brother, and our family. It was not easy for her since she was suffering from illness at that time. She even failed to attend the burial of her mother.

After the loss of her parents, we moved on and took care of her. Subtlety, my cousin is getting worst. She was diagnosed with lupus. We are not well to do in life to help her with medications. We seek help from DSWD and PCSO, but funds are going to zero. The two institutions are of great help, but really we have to accept the fact that it is not enough.

She then decided to took her out of the hospital and prefer to stay home. She is getting worst. I can only see her once in a while. I can't afford to see her. I pity her a lot.

It was October 28 I think when she had she can't bear it anymore. And we have accepted it that she have to rest with our Creator. But she resisted, she stayed up to November 8, 2 days before her 21st birthday.

On the 8th of November will be her first year death anniversary. One year of not seeing her.

Dear Wilma,

Wherever you are we will never forget you. You know how much we love you. For all my shortcomings I ask my apology. I wish you are happy with Tita Glo and Tito Ader, and with our Creator there. Please guide us especially Wally and Wilmor.

Wilma, we are missing you and we love you always.

BU- CENG: BUhay CENG

BUCENG - an acronym for Bicol University College of Engineering. It is where the barbarians go - its how students from other BU unit call us. This is where students go to school in shorts, flip flops, long hair, drunk, smoking cigars in school with the proffesors, in short its atmosphere seems suited for a happy go lucky student. The way it looks and its location adds factor to its barbaric aura. But have they seen and known what's behind this scene? Let me tell my story as a true blooded CENGian.

It was 2003 when I decided to took an Engineering course. I enrolled BS in Civil Engineering in this institution thinking that this would be an easy course for me. I met new friends to keep, new challenges , and new environment. This is where I learned that student life is not always in the same color. Life in BUCENG is as colorful as the color wheel, there is dakness and brightness.

First semester of my first year came too fast. It was fun field with good experiences like having a circle of friends and joining the Pep Squad Competition in which we are the champion. Its like a passing wind when second semester came in. This is when I experienced failing, a grade of 5.0 for Analytic Geometry under the late Engr. Mantes. So to cope with the failing mark I have to enrol for summer class.

Second year came and thought that it would not happen again, but history repeats itself. And I have to accept that it is my fate or I just failed to be a faithful student. Third year, fourth year, fifth year, full or ups and downs, darksness and brightness.

March 2008 seems to be a short walk for us. Its time to say goodbye to classmates and friends and to my "tropa". I have to face BUCENG alone.

Reminiscing the memories we had in CENG I decided to share it with you. Life in BUCENG is not always as what others see on us. It is not always full of smiles and laughs. Every semester a lot of tears fall and a lot would just smile. The bottle of liquor and the boxes of cigars are your friends thru thick and thin, and God is your recourse when your down. I use to say the saying, "Ang di madala sa santong paspasan, nadadala sa santong dasalan." A CENGian knows how to go to the church and pray novena especially before every semester would end.

It is not always a happy-go-lucky life especially when you have to meet deadlines for projects take home exams, compilation of solved problem, assignments, design, plates, research work, and feasibility study. I remember we would always discuss on taking a bath or not after spending the whole night with these papers without sleeping.

You may see us strolling the whole semester but behind that strolls are bundles of projects to finish. Professor not coming in in the class but will see you on finals for the submission of project.

This I may see is a little of my story in BUCENG. Soon I will be leaving this school and I will always bring the memories I had in here.

BU-CENG: Buhay CENG.

Today is November 1.

Today is November 1. The Roman Catholic Church celebrates the All Saints Day and tomorrow is the All Souls Day. As a Catholic country, the Philippines marked this day as one great days for us to celebrate with our love ones that already passed away. And for others, it is also their time to be united with their families.

Today is November 1. I am missing the day. Every year, me and my mom visits my lolo's and lola's grave in Jovellar, but today only my mom would. I will be missing my cousins, tito's and tita's there. This day is always a reunion for us with our relatives on my mom's side.

Today is November 1. Every five o'clock in the afternoon, our choir sings for the mass in the Catholic cemetery in Oas, and after the mass we spend the night together. We visit friends' grave, pray, and then walk when going home. And this is also a day where I see friends that I failed to see for a time.

Today is November 1. I am in the call center now. We have our operations for our campaign. So sad but its ok. I'm with the team anyway. And we will just have ghost hunting in the dorm, just a joke, I'm afraid.

Today is November 1. They say its Catholic holiday and Day of Obligation. According to Wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/All_Saints'_Day) the early Christians would celebrate the anniversary of a martyr's death for Christ by serving an All NIght Vigil, and then celebrating the Eucharist over their tomb or the shrine at their place of martyrdom.

Today is November 1. In the Philippines (http://www.wowparadisephilippines.com/all-saints-day.html), Undas as they call it, celbrates this days in an almost festive atmosphere and more of a family reunion. As a Catholic country it is mandatory for a two day vacation and people who were asked to work on this days should receive a special rate wage.

Today is November 1, Saturday. A lot of workers are demanding for holiday since this Catholic holiday falls on weekend this year. For us call center agents serving U.S.A, a non-Catholic country we are required for work today. Are we to receive special wage?

Today is November 1. Let us all pray for our beloved departed ones. May they all rest in peace.

: Eternal rest grant unto them Lord, and let the perpetual light shine upon them. May they rest in peace.

My Call Center Life

My interest in a call center started when my batch mates were about to graduate and I will be left out. I thought of being as a working student by then. And so I pursue that will and find a local company to fit in. Fortunately during the BU Job Fair there was a company that offers free call center training and employment, so I submitted my interest in that company.

Two weeks after that fair, the company sent me message informing me to be present on the first day of training. And there I was facing a new crowd, knowing no one except for myself. Lucky I am, I met a long lost friend again during the training. The crowd subtlely become a community. We were batch 33 and we treated each other as brothers and sisters. Two weeks came too fast for us. It is time for us to be evaluated and be employed whether here in Legazpi or in Manila. But before our training went over, I was pulled out to be trained in a running account here.

Again I met new faces that I need to be with for us to work as a team. New acquiantances and circle of friends from my team and the other account. As time went by, everything are in good terms, but as a wheel it goes down. The account was suspended and shut down. We are not unemployed by then, another account is ready to catch our falling tears. But the wheel turned fast for us, another close account. And so we were all trained for the new account. We passed and we were team mates once again. But same as the other wheels that passed, the campaign unexpectedly shut down. Unexpected because it was when we were on the peak of hitting more than the quota requires. And so we were unemployed.

After 5 accounts, another came in, and we were on training again. Tears fell on this training, even I myself put tears on this one. I gave up and the team was left with few tenured and the new ones. I was then on my part time in the Legal Trascription Department as a transcriptionist, so I applied full time on it, and met new friends and get closer to old buddies.

Another wheel turned, and I wasn't able to pass the evaluation in the LT Dept., and I'm unemployed again. But as the saying goes, when a door close, a window opens. A new campaign for the call center will open and they are in need of five more trainees. We grab the oppurtunity to be in and luckily I passed. Now I'm back in the call center.

Yes, I am back. I am actually on calls while doing this blog. Long story for my six months stay in this company. But its not on the story but on the experiences I enjoy most being here. The change of schedule, from night shift to early morning and vice versa; the irrate and the nice customers; the DOM's; the dances while on call; the songs we sing; the food we share everyday; the standing, kneeling, or seating position we prefer to; the irregular sleep; irregular time for eating meals; the bottles of alcohol; the butts of cigars; but most specially, the friendship we've built - the laughs and the tears, the love and care, the hugs and kisses.

I can say life in a call center is a full of twists and thrills. It may make you or break you. It depends on how you view things and changes that happen around. People come and go in this center. You meet today, tomorrow you'll never see him. Its a short acquiantance for the many. But I prefer to stay here because of the community we built. They're part of me and they're my family too.

For all the people who have been part of me in this center, thank you very much and I promise to be a friend and a sister as long as I live.

Ate I (+), we miss you.
Rey, Ate Susan, Kuya Jason, Arrish, Tin, Christian, Romer, Dhana, Maiz, Jaylyn, Sarah, Ate Jen, Jennifer, Jem, Ernie, Jessie, Redz, Ate Joan, Dylan, Noel, Wrie, Ate Cor, JD, Edmund, Herrie, T.L Raimz, QA Dave, Sir Benj, Ms. Belle, Ms. Guia, Ate Virgie, Ms. Loren, to batch 33 (you know who you are), Ms. Cathy, Shammy, Brandon, Dino, Jhong, Jad, Zyrus, Jhoana, Nel, Kuya Mike, Kuya John, Edgar, Cookie, Jonathan, Manny, Albert
(I'm sorry for those I forgot. Tell me soon for me to update this.)

Sardinas Gang: Maiz, Odeza, Redz, Arisz, Rene, Aaron, Dylan, Harl, Jem

Dorm Pipz: (1st floor) Romer, Wrie, Redz, Kuya Jun, May
(2nd floor) Benj, Ate Cel, Nikki, Ethel, Len, Odeza, Mommy Son, Raimz, Ate Julie, Kaka, Jonathan, Noreen